[fade in to Superfans sitting around the Rare Bear hanger, tossing back a few brewskis...]
Bill Swerski: Good afternoon, my friends, and welcome to "Bill Swerski's Super Fans"! I'm Bill Swerski, and with me, as always, are the Super Fans: Pat Arnold...
Pat: Hey Bill.
Bill: ...Todd O'Conner...
Todd: Bill.
Bill: ...and Carl Wollarski.
Carl: How ya' doin', Bill?
Bill: Alright, we're talking here, live from the Bear Cave, in the heart of Reno, Nevada. The Biggest Little City in the World, and home, of course, to a certain plane, which has carved out a special place in the pantheon of professional air racing. That plane, which is known the world over, as...Da Bear!
Superfans: DA BEAR!
Bill: Okay, okay, by my watch, we're about 10 months from race time. As you are sure aware, Da Bear is getting ready for the big race against Dago Red. Now, lets go around the room for some predictions. Pat?
Pat: Da Bear, 620 mph to 300 mph.
Bill: Okay....Todd?
Todd: Bear. 790 mph to zip.
Bill: Oh, really? You don't think that Dago will finish?
Todd: No, I do NOT! Da Bear is like a wall. You can't beat that.
Bill: Alright. How about you, Carl?
Carl: I say, Bear 520 mph to 140 mph.
Pat: WHAT? Come on....
Carl: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I gotta give the Dago crew some credit--I think they'll give Da Bear a race.
Bill: Alright, alright, leave him alone...that's his perogative! As for MY prediction...at races-end, uh...there will be two planes of contrasting moods heading off the race course, my friends. One glum, one gleeful. The gleeful of which will be...Da Bear!
Superfans: DA BEAR!
Bill: 740 mph to 200 mph! I mean, after all...our radial pride is on the line. Because, let's face it, if Dago were to somehow beat Da Bear, we'd never hear the end of it.
Todd: Oh, they'd LOVE it over there!
Bill: You know, it's absurd, really, that we would even have to waste our time comparing ourselves to that kelp-covered inline!
Carl: Absolutely!
Bill: Alright now, let me shift gears here for a moment. What IS God's role in this? Obviously, he's rooting for Da Bear.
Pat: Otherwise, he wouldn't have given it a radial.
Carl: That's right!
Bill: That's right. The question is: Now, did God creat Da Bear, and MAKE it superior to all other Unlimiteds? Or is he simply a huge fan, and Shelton made it superior to all other Unlimiteds?
Carl: That's a tough one, Bill...
Bill: Okay, okay, gentlemen, now let me ask you this: What if Da Bear was only a radio controlled model, you know, about four feet long? Now, who wins the race?
Carl: Against Dago?
Bill: Yes, give it a handicap.
Carl: Bear 180 mph, Dago 100 mph. And that would FINALLY be a good race.
Pat: Yeah that WOULD be a good race. Mini Bear 240 mph, Dago 140 mph.
Todd: What about Penney? Would he be mini, too?
Bill: No, he would be full-grown, and handling the r/c unit.
Todd: Oh, then, uh...Mini Bear 310 mph, Dago 70 mph.
Carl: Oh, hold on. Then I change mine too. I thought it was a mini Penney.
Bill: Okay, final scenario. Da Bear, it doesn't make it. They lose a cylinder and the plane can't run. But Shelton makes Penney fly around the course in an ultra light. Penney vs. Dago. Okay, outcome, gentlemen?
Pat: Alright...WITH an air start? I gotta say Penney 170, Dago 140. He just BARELY gets by.
Bill. Alright, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a little last lap nitrous action from the ultra light.
Carl: Penney, but it's close.
Todd: Bear.
Superfans: DA BEAR!
[fade out to the sound of a radial starting up in the distance...]
Bill Swerski: Good afternoon, my friends, and welcome to "Bill Swerski's Super Fans"! I'm Bill Swerski, and with me, as always, are the Super Fans: Pat Arnold...
Pat: Hey Bill.
Bill: ...Todd O'Conner...
Todd: Bill.
Bill: ...and Carl Wollarski.
Carl: How ya' doin', Bill?
Bill: Alright, we're talking here, live from the Bear Cave, in the heart of Reno, Nevada. The Biggest Little City in the World, and home, of course, to a certain plane, which has carved out a special place in the pantheon of professional air racing. That plane, which is known the world over, as...Da Bear!
Superfans: DA BEAR!
Bill: Okay, okay, by my watch, we're about 10 months from race time. As you are sure aware, Da Bear is getting ready for the big race against Dago Red. Now, lets go around the room for some predictions. Pat?
Pat: Da Bear, 620 mph to 300 mph.
Bill: Okay....Todd?
Todd: Bear. 790 mph to zip.
Bill: Oh, really? You don't think that Dago will finish?
Todd: No, I do NOT! Da Bear is like a wall. You can't beat that.
Bill: Alright. How about you, Carl?
Carl: I say, Bear 520 mph to 140 mph.
Pat: WHAT? Come on....
Carl: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I gotta give the Dago crew some credit--I think they'll give Da Bear a race.
Bill: Alright, alright, leave him alone...that's his perogative! As for MY prediction...at races-end, uh...there will be two planes of contrasting moods heading off the race course, my friends. One glum, one gleeful. The gleeful of which will be...Da Bear!
Superfans: DA BEAR!
Bill: 740 mph to 200 mph! I mean, after all...our radial pride is on the line. Because, let's face it, if Dago were to somehow beat Da Bear, we'd never hear the end of it.
Todd: Oh, they'd LOVE it over there!
Bill: You know, it's absurd, really, that we would even have to waste our time comparing ourselves to that kelp-covered inline!
Carl: Absolutely!
Bill: Alright now, let me shift gears here for a moment. What IS God's role in this? Obviously, he's rooting for Da Bear.
Pat: Otherwise, he wouldn't have given it a radial.
Carl: That's right!
Bill: That's right. The question is: Now, did God creat Da Bear, and MAKE it superior to all other Unlimiteds? Or is he simply a huge fan, and Shelton made it superior to all other Unlimiteds?
Carl: That's a tough one, Bill...
Bill: Okay, okay, gentlemen, now let me ask you this: What if Da Bear was only a radio controlled model, you know, about four feet long? Now, who wins the race?
Carl: Against Dago?
Bill: Yes, give it a handicap.
Carl: Bear 180 mph, Dago 100 mph. And that would FINALLY be a good race.
Pat: Yeah that WOULD be a good race. Mini Bear 240 mph, Dago 140 mph.
Todd: What about Penney? Would he be mini, too?
Bill: No, he would be full-grown, and handling the r/c unit.
Todd: Oh, then, uh...Mini Bear 310 mph, Dago 70 mph.
Carl: Oh, hold on. Then I change mine too. I thought it was a mini Penney.
Bill: Okay, final scenario. Da Bear, it doesn't make it. They lose a cylinder and the plane can't run. But Shelton makes Penney fly around the course in an ultra light. Penney vs. Dago. Okay, outcome, gentlemen?
Pat: Alright...WITH an air start? I gotta say Penney 170, Dago 140. He just BARELY gets by.
Bill. Alright, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a little last lap nitrous action from the ultra light.
Carl: Penney, but it's close.
Todd: Bear.
Superfans: DA BEAR!
[fade out to the sound of a radial starting up in the distance...]
Comment