Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

[spacegrrrl]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

Had a reset yesterday, finally saw the video of the Vegas Indy car crash and then realized as I was sorting through my photos of "that Friday" that I had a great shot of Ghost on her second to last lap ever.

And last night I realized that I really can't find the energy to chase down the F-1 I was going to try and get back to Reno next year till I know if there even will be one. And if there never is one again a lot of my "bucket list" can never happen. (some of you may have seen the flying wing F-1 I designed a while back, I was making steady progress on that project)

Spacegrrrl

[Frank C.]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I was going to have to deal with this eventually...sorting through my photos from the entire week; avoiding the folder marked 9-16-2011 as long as I could. The day started out like every other day at Reno in September, full of smiles and promise. Many of you are photographers and I'm sure you understand what it means to have photographed an event and never have "seen" it. I wish that was the case. I share the box with Ron L., his boys and a whole lot of other good people. I was leaning on a long lens waiting for them to come by the home pylon for pictures...I saw the pull up and I never lifted the camera to my eye. Today, I wished I had; the pictures are forever in my head and they don't go away.

The sting has lessened over the past month but sorting through the Friday pics teared me up again.

If the best way to honor someone is to remember them, I will remember them all.

Kenny

My wife and I still have trouble sleeping. We both broke down in tears when Dan Wheldon was killed at Sunday's IRL race in Las Vegas. Time will heal I guess.

Frank C.

[id_parrothead]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

Very new to the board, but have visited to listen in on the "goings-on." I've been going to the races for a number of years now as my brother always gets a box and has friends and family come in from all over the country. He and some others had gone out to the valley of speed to watch the unlimited heat race that afternoon. I wish I had gone with them.

I stayed behind to watch the race from our A-35 box. When GG came around pylon 8, dipped a bit and pulled up, my initial thought was that he had called a mayday and was trying to gain altitude. As I watched the plane roll over, it was obvious there was something terribly wrong.

I had a weird moment where a lot of things went through my head almost instantly (maybe that is what they call having your life flash before your eyes, I don't know). The thing I remember is wondering what it would feel like to get hit by a plane going over 400 mph, the sound of the motor at full power, and the "pop" sound when GG hit. I don't recall hearing anything directly after that.

I do remember just ducking my head and bracing myself in my chair. GG hit about 50 ft to the east of where we were sitting; those of us in the box were unharmed. I got up and just stood there shaking, not really knowing what to do. I would like to say that my first thought was to run in to help those that were hurt, but I just couldn't wrap my head around it. By the time I "snapped out of it" I could hear Frank's voice directing people to stay clear and let the professionals do their job.

At that point, we just started gathering the blue and red box skirting to be used by emergency response personnel. That's about all we could do. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. There's this horror in front of you and there's nothing you can do about it. I just felt so bad for those people that were killed or injured.

Anyway, I've been trying to talk to as many people as I can about it and am still not sure how I feel. It is something that will stay with me for a long time.

Sorry for being so long winded. Thanks for listening.

[Acorn]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

There were alot of people standing around stunned/shocked. Don't feel bad about not jumping in, lots of professionals were there who did that. I was talking to a woman who felt bad that she didn't volunteer, since she was a registered nurse. However, she also had 2 children there with her. We told her she needed to take care of her kids first. While we all want to help, if your mind isn't all there you need to let someone else do it. Your box gathered up materials to be used, that was a help.
And go ahead and be long winded. It helps everyone. That's what this is for.

[Leo]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

We packed as quickly as possible and got out as fast as we could, taking back roads.
At first I thought little of myself for being so callous and selfish, I do have some training. But after reflecting on it a day or so later when I could be rational I figured I could not offer any help that wasn't already being offered and figured the best thing was to be out of the way.

[John H]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

My wife and I still have trouble sleeping. We both broke down in tears when Dan Wheldon was killed at Sunday's IRL race in Las Vegas. Time will heal I guess.

Frank C.

And it was a month to the day. I wanted to cry about Dan but I couldn't. I'm just going numb at this point. I went to the junkyard and worked on taxes sunday, so thankfully I had something to do. Really did want to cry while walking through the junkyard.

[ignomini]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

We packed as quickly as possible and got out as fast as we could, taking back roads.
At first I thought little of myself for being so callous and selfish, I do have some training. But after reflecting on it a day or so later when I could be rational I figured I could not offer any help that wasn't already being offered and figured the best thing was to be out of the way.

You're not alone. Standing there in the aftermath, all I could do was look at the poor folks next to me, on the ground, looking either unconscious or dead. I picked up a towel and tried to hand it to a guy who was bleeding badly from a head wound, then basically walked away. First responders were already fanning out through the area, but I still felt bad at the time for having walked away. As folks have told me since, there was nothing to be done but get out of the way and let the pros do their job.