Fledgling Air Racing
"Support" Group To Meet Again
At Reno
 Last year’s Air Races
saw the first meeting (some might call it
a brawl) of the Reno Air Race Grunts,
known as "RAGS," held at the
Reno Stead Airport, after hours (so
nobody would notice!) The explanation
given at the time for the lateness of the
first meeting, which was held in an
unnamed, yet to be occupied, sponsor
chalet, was given by an organizer of the
event, who informed us of his wishes at
the time to remain anonymous as: "So
nobody would notice, of course!"
 In a press
release… ah, released on August 27,
the organizers of the event…
released… the schedule for this
year’s event meeting. We can neither
confirm nor deny that the timing of this
release had anything to do with the
reported release of the group’s
president, Rich "Cleatus"
Hillis from an unnamed "gray bar
motel," somewhere in the South
Eastern United States.
Describing
itself as being made up of… and we
quote the release here, "hard
working folks who make Reno Air Race
Pilots look good despite their appalling
treatment" said RAGS President,
Hillis. "We’re just not going
to take anymore guff from these Prima
Donna pilots who trod all over our
butts!" Hillis said, "It’s
high time we get what we deserve; that
being more respect!" Hillis is the
support crew chief for Mary Dilda’s
Two of Hearts Air Racing Team.
 Those interested in
joining RAGS are invited to stop by the
Two of Hearts Air Racing Team’s pits
for an application form, where you will
be separated from $2.00 of your hard
earned money. Officials of the group
stated that this fee was largely for the
"refreshment" fund for the
meeting, as well as for printing supplies
for same.
"Be
prepared to address your peers at the
membership meeting with an account of how
you’ve been abused by your
respective race pilots," reminds
Patricia "Radar" Mathes, the
team’s Secretary. "It is
tradition that members share their pain
with their colleagues, which is part of
the therapeutic benefit of becoming a
RAGS member."
 The release further
ask us to: Spread the word! All Reno
Championship Air Race support personnel
are invited to attend and join.
"Remember: no Air Race Pilot is
allowed to join, nor is allowed to attend
our meetings; and it is up to the
membership at large to physically prevent
these self-impressed drivers from
stealing our beer as they always seem to
want to do!", states President
Cleatus.
 In all seriousness
(if that is possible with this story) the
meeting last year was grand fun for all
involved. Though the charter does not
specifically state that fans or,
downtrodden photographers, journalists,
cameramen/women or otherwise…
"just about anybody" can join..
the impression we received last year is
that, if you have two bucks and the time
and inclination to attend, you will be
given a chance to plead your case for
membership in front of the general body
of the group.. This could well turn into
one of the "must attend" events
of the annual speed festival held at
Reno.
Reno Air-race Grunt
Charter
Let
it be known that there are countless
unsung heroes who make the Reno National
Championship Air Races and Airshow a
success year after year. Let the world
know that these hapless GRUNTS, are
unceremoniously trod upon by the very
organizations and pilots participating
therein in spite of the FACT that if it
were not for their sacrifice, these
PILOTS would never stand a chance.
Be it known that
the Reno Air-race Grunt Association has
been formed to recognize the
contributions of these poor abused
pit-crews, mechanics, roadies, pylon
judges, organizing staffers, wing
polishers, pilot baby sitters, gophers,
scapegoats, foot rests, door mats and
punching bags.
Let it be known
that never shall a racing pilot be
allowed to be present at ANY R.A.G.
function and that anytime the word PILOT
is mentioned, the R.A.G. crowd present
shall ceremoniously exclaim:
"Boo!" Additionally, that
during any R.A.G. function, the Sergeant
at Arms shall enlist sufficient comrades
to keep any and all pilots from
infiltrating said function guarding with
their very lives the cache of R.A.G.
adult beverages from their clutches.
All R.A.G.
meetings will be facilitated by the
elected Sergeant at Arms whose decisions
in matters of protocol and conduct shall
be final and respected by all.
Be it known that
every prospective member of R.A.G.s will
be required to publicly justify in front
of the membership why they should be
permitted to join. They will then forever
be recognized by their R.A.G.
"Doggie" call sign.
Let it be known
that from the membership at large, a Beer
Chucker will be chosen to provide aerial
delivery of beers to the membership
during meetings. This will be the ONLY
approved method of providing communal
beer to members. (The beers are thrown by
the Beer Chucker and caught by the member
for consumption).
Furthermore, at
the 2002 Inaugural meeting of R.A.G.s,
officers will be nominated and elected
from the membership ranks to serve
through the next Reno Air Race Season.
All members will
be required to re-apply for membership on
an annual basis, submitting their
membership fee and form before that
year’s meeting with only new members
being required to publicly justify their
R.A.G. membership.
Finally, all
members in good standing will proudly
wear their R.A.G. identification at all
times.
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